Life: X,Y and C

Mike Huckabee started his daily radio show in direct competition with Rush Limbaugh today.  Though many have tried, probably has the best shot: a broadcaster since he was a teenager, backed by one of the largest radio companies in the country that carries Limbaugh in some major markets, including his flagship station in New York City.   Though I disagree with Governor Huckabee on social issues, I am encouraged by his commitment to conversation over confrontation.  Check out my viewpoint on it all in the podcast below.

'I think there’s more to life than politics. I really feel sorry for people who get so obsessed that their blood pressure goes up 20 points on the systolic because all they do is sit around and make themselves angry and crazy, thinking about things they don’t like. I’m an optimistic person. I love this country, and I’m thrilled that I’ve had the opportunities I’ve had, But rather than get angry about the things that have happened in this country, I prefer to approach it in a fun kind of way, rather than ridiculing somebody. We will confront the issues and not the listeners’.”--Mike Huckabee

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On March 28th 2011, I had my first Botox injection to treat my spastic hamstring muscles.  Here is a rough cut film series about the first few months of the experience.  As I contemplate year 2, I am thinking about what the next media project related to this will be.

Until I know for sure, here is a link to a series page on blog spot.

Enjoy

Before I begin, a bit of context, I am taking a sick day today.  I am fairly certain this is the early onset of spring allergies or hay fever.  It might be the fact that salvage crews are working at the old car dealership near my house (where is Erin Brockovich when you need her?  Seriously, there has to be some nasty shit floating around in the air now.)  Or maybe it is a necessary break in advance of the approaching spring.

We haven't had much of a winter, by our standards, so far.  Like most of the nation and the world, it has been mild and/or odd.   A day of bone chilling cold, a half of foot of snow the next day, spring the next, and 3 inches of ice the day after that--pretty much sums it  up.  Heating bills are lower and our snow plow guys are lucky they have started other year round ventures to keep them employed since the plows aren't out.  Groundhog or not, we all know, we are not in the clear winter wise until April 1st at the earliest, May 1st is more accurate, most years.  Our seasonal tease has begun early this year leading to colds, flu, desperate searches for a cheap tropical vacation, and sick days.

A year ago, I was debating the benefits of orthopedic botox treatments.  The now or never reality spurred me to action, action that has been life altering.  Actually, life restoring, if I am being honest.  It turned everything inside me, outside, and there has been no turning back.   I had no idea that was only the start of a year I couldn't imagine if I tried.

The restoration of faith in myself, in my abilities balanced by the reality of the necessary 'comeback' to the outside world.  Watching my father become a grandfather in every sense of the word, then lose him suddenly a few months later.  Being thankful for an amount of emotional and physical stability I've never known as some of my dearest friends struggle with loss of ones they love.  And, somewhere, in the mix, the most unexpected thing of all: meeting someone who has changed my life in just a few months with a laugh, a smile and a semicolon.

Spring is not an easy season, days of blazing bright sunshine, flip flops, t-shirts and windows open, will be balanced by a few days of snow, ice, cold rain and bad moods.  I'm aware that personal spring is like that too: for every day of bright, there will be some dark, some cold, but, sooner than later, the sun will shine for two days instead of one, and on it will go from there.

Until then there are sick days and semicolons.

A video of a middle school student who decided to be open about his thoughts of suicide,cutting himself, his fears of going to school, and the knowledge that he has a million reasons to be here was telling my story too.  It has me thinking of all the things I would have missed in my life if I had been successful in taking my own life when I was his age ?

My life has not been easy or smooth, not by a long shot, but, when I think of everything and everyone I would have never known, if I had been successful, I just can't imagine it.

The few lines above were written and saved for another day some time ago.  Since these words I wrote those words, someone very special to me took his own life.  He and his family have been part of the fabric of me for over 20 years.  His father is a fellow radio guy who attempted to keep me on an even keel during my first go round at radio station middle management.  His mother, a warm and blunt soul, who can offer a hug and a kick in the ass all at the same time.  And his sister, who inherited her parents love for the outdoors and the bold spirit to go out and make a life for herself.

Joey taught me so much about myself over the years.  He was the first kid who made me aware of my responsibility as an "older person".  That the people kids look up to really do mean something to them.  That they aren't just fun to hang out with and wind up on occasion, they are young people who deserve respect, love, and, yeah, the occasional wind up for fun.  Because of Joey, I am much more committed to my role as Uncle Wil to the children of my friends and family.

Joey and I were both born atypical, our brains our greatest asset and our greatest enemy all at the same time.  Joey's Dad was the first to point out to me what a gift and a responsibility it was for me to understand that, and use that for some greater purpose, for his son and for others.

I do regret never telling Joey that.  That the last time I saw him was at the local Borders bookstore.  That Joey had made choices in his life to go his own way so he wasn't as accessible as he was as a kid.  I told myself that one day, we'd meet up again, when things settled down for him, and pick up where we left off.  I believe that day will come for Joey and I beyond life here on earth, someday, down the road.

The reality is that we all make an impact on this life as we live it, some for a short time, some for a long time, and for most of us, somewhere in between.  In the last few months I have lost 'people pieces' of me that hurt every minute of everyday.  As sad as I am about that, the best thing I can do, is keep living my life,  and be true to the things they taught me while they were here.

The new year is underway.  Just a short post to let you know I am still alive out here, and much is ahead in the new year.  On we go, stay tuned!

Most people wait until New Years to reflect on life, I always say it is good to avoid the rush, start early.  So with 332 days past, 033 days left to go in 2011, I am thinking about life in just 2 minutes.

Over the weekend, a friend of mine posted a video from Australia.  It promotes the marriage equality movement there, and ultimately, around the world.   Beyond the movement it promotes, it is an amazing video to watch.  Great film making, storytelling, in less than 2 minutes.

It moved me on several levels.  It captures moments in love, life and death, from the observers point of view.  Things seen directly, indirectly and in passing, as life moves forward.

If you had 2 minutes to make a film about your life, from an observers point of view, what would those images be?

Think about it, make that film in your mind, realize how fast life moves, realize that the most important things we observe, the things that make us who we are happen in our lives, at home, in our hearts.  Be mindful of the big picture and keep things that belong there, there.  Then make the movie based on the small pictures you have observed, use those to tell the story, and be thankful.

The year 2011, my 45th year of living, ends in less than 42 days.  It has been a year filled with events and moments I would have never predicted.  By every indicator, it also marks the end of my own lost decade.  The signs are large and small, some only pertintent to me and those close to me, but the signs are truly there.

For all intents and purposes, the true forward momentum of my life ended in 2001.  I haven't been sitting in a corner and rotting for 10 years though, I have done stuff, been places, met people, fell in love a couple of times or more, fumbled and bumbled, failed and tried again.

I wasn't aware of it at the time I was doing it.  Every effort I made, every word I said was sincere. Looking back though I wasn't living, as the famous quote suggests, deliberately.

My emergence from the lost decade began in 2009, not long after another milestone: my 20 year college graduation anniversary. Still living in my college town, close enough to campus that I can almost see it, the first 10 years here made sense, the last 10 were harder to define.  Since my father died in August, I am fully aware of the finite clock of life.

What I find most surprising is I don't have this huge internal, screaming, "Carpe Diem!" drive inside myself.  It is more of a thoughtful, rational voice saying " okay, time to get on with it."  The progressive steps that have appeared before me are fairly simple, sensible and sane--just the opposite of what I have been drawn to for the last decade.   I am present in my own life again, that is the biggest change.  For 10 years I was presenting my life, constantly editing and producing to fit the changing audiences. There were many different episodes, characters and story arcs it was a full time job to maintain the presentation.

For me, the simplest stuff is always the hardest, always a red flag that I am settling or somehow not trying hard enough.  That putting down roots is somehow an anchor holding you in place, rather than the foundation that allows you to grow and reach new heights.

As I was doing my morning review of online news items, I read an article about Americans overwhelmingly opposing a dollar coin.  The estimate is such a move would save over 150 billion dollars a year but people don't like the idea because it is too hard to change plus, God Forbid, they do it in Canada.  That is a deal breaker right there.  Really?

Everybody now agrees we need to cut spending and get our national financial house in order.  I'd like to see what all these "little" cuts that only require small adjustments to our daily habits and daily lives would add up to at the end of the day.   Nine more 150 billion dollar budget trims would be a 1.5 trillion dollar savings each year.

The major complaints are that a dollar coin is too hard to use. If using a big gold coin to buy your Coke out of the vending machine in the hall is your biggest hardship in life, congratulations.   What is even more ridiculous are the people who complain because the Canadians do it so it is just another attempt to turn our country into a "socialist" nation like they are.

The factual reality is Canada went through a wholesale restructuring of its economy within the last 30 years.  Government spending was slashed, they launched a national sales tax that was used solely to pay down the huge national debt.  They passed a balanced budget law. Privatized their post office.  All while maintaining a national health care system, education system and rebuilding their economy.  As a result, they have the most stable banking system in the world and were recently named the best country in the world to do business in.  Business, ya know, capitalism?  Jobs and stuff?

But if it works in another country, and we didn't think of it, that makes it un-American and somehow bad.

I live just an hour south of the Canadian capital on the US side of the border in NY.  I have used 1 and 2 dollar coins for years up there.  It takes some getting used to but it works fine.

The rank and file people who benefit from new people using dollar coins are bartenders and other wait staff.  When you walk into a bar and order a beer, it is very natural to leave the "change" on the bar.  I remember walking out of a bar after ordering one drink and a bar snack, leaving the coins on the bar, that I reacted to like quarters but, I basically left a 10 dollar tip!

The next phase of using dollar coins is the joy of realizing, as you are ending your day with just a pocket full of change, you are actually richer than you think because they may feel like quarters but are worth so much more.

It takes some getting used to, you make some dumb transactions at first, but you get the hang of it and it works.

Common sense will tell you we, as a country, are in a period of great change and re-alignment, along with the rest of the world.  I am frustrated at the amount of pre-school type whining that seems to be the norm these days: if I stomp my feet and yell the loudest I won't have to do what I don't want to do, someone else will do it and then I will blame him for it.

The window of opportunity for us to pull up our socks and act like real Americans and take the lead is closing fast.  The myopic view that allows people to sit in echo chambers telling themselves what they want to hear while the rest of the world moves on, saddens and scares me.

My hope is we'll start taking some baby steps in the right direction again, common sense steps, simple steps and pick up the pace from there.

But these days, I am not holding my breath waiting.

I heard it plenty of times growing up, from parents, teachers, anybody who expected me to do something not just talk about it--talk is cheap.  Well, this morning, the ad rates for the new Katie Couric talk show were released.  You want to make a boat load of money, be a successful talk show host.

An article in this morning's New York Post says that ABC/Disney is looking for $50 thousand dollars for a :30 second commercial on the new show debuting in the Fall of 2012.  Assuming there are no discount deals for :60 second spots and they run 6 minutes of spots per show, that is 600 thousand in revenue per DAY, over 200 shows a season, that translates to $120 MILLION a year.   Figuring an annual budget of $40 million a year (a million a week for a 40 week season, considerably less than an hour long soap in that time slot), that leaves $80 million in the pockets of ABC/Disney, Katie Couric and her producing partner, Jeff Zucker.   Not too bad.

By comparison, another ABC produced, nationally syndicated program, Live with Regis and Kelly, commands around 40k for a :30 second spot, pulling in about $96 MILLION per year in revenues.

Oh and just because I know you are wondering, The Oprah Winfrey Show pulled in, on average, 100k for a 30 second spot, yep, $240 million dollars.  The show also charged stations license fees to run the show.   Some large market stations were paying 250k a week just for license fees by the time the Oprah show ended this spring.  Now do you understand how Oprah became a billionaire?

Katie will have the advantage of being on at 3pm in the largest markets in the country as ABC plans to give the time slot back to local stations across the country (Bye Bye General Hospital?) and she will be live from NY every day allowing her to be topical and current, leading into the former Oprah stations that are doing local news at 4pm.

Katie will have the additional advantage of all the ABC/Disney cable platforms to promote her show and, possibly, have a repeat run.  7pm on Lifetime, perhaps?  ABC also created a digital broadcast channel, Live Well, that stations run on their .2 broadcast signals.    While the channel has been generally well received and has decent ratings, it lacks a marque brand, perhaps that will be a delayed broadcast of the Katie show, on tape, a week later.   Not to mention the potential web revenues.

Time will tell if Katie will be a multi-platform success or just another would be Oprah/Ellen/Rosie who despite considerable talents couldn't quite make it work.  Starting at 50 thousand for a :30 second spot, she better make it work, and fast.

I created a blog spot video for my Orthopedic Botox Treatment Video series 1 back in September.  I am linking it here so that all the multimedia content I am doing is one spot.  In the new year, I will be upgrading this Podbean site to include audio, video as well as text posts.